The Key to a Good Relationship… According to “Her”

So some of you know I’m in a new relationship with an old girlfriend and I’m happy about it… she said she’d let me know when and if she’s happy about it but that’s another blog, anyway… we were talking about all the stuff that new/old couples talk about and SHE SAYS“Oh, I got us a new mattress… the coolest thing about it is I wont even feel you moving, so you won’t wake me up…. “

DA HELL?!

So you mean to tell me all the stuff I’m doing, gifts, flowers, little love notes, damn SHARRI’S BERRIES DELIVER’T to the job and all she needs to be happy is a mattress that she won’t even know if I’m dead or not?

See… that’s that Bull****

Simple things… women don’t want much you see, just stuff like not waking her up in the middle of the night when I gotta get up to pee… mind you we’re on a California King which if you don’t know is the equivalent of sleeping with someone on like…. Montana.

This is eye opening for me. I’m from the old school of relationships/ dating, you know… courting, without a judge present. “Calling on her” I know that sounds like a line from The Andy Griffith Show but that’s Old School.

This new dating is kinda different I get it, but I got my limits…

For instance we probably text more than we talk which I’m fine with, we’re both pretty busy during the day but I’ve seen these new kids dating…. texting each other across the table at a restaurant?

Ain’t NOBODY got time for that…

So now I’ll do the stuff to keep the FI-YAH in my relationship, like vacuuming. Nothing says “COME HERE WOMAN”  (in my Teddy Pendergrass voice) like sucking dirt off the carpet.

Cleanliness I hear is the new sexy… so I’ll pick up my drawers too. Take the trash out, loading the dishwasher, putting the toilet seat down, remember fellas…. “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie…”. I’d heard that somewhere before.

Nothing says “NO SOUP FOR YOU” like sitting in somebody Else’s previously warm pee…

This is what I’m learning. Play these tips box and straight and if I can be any more help to you I’ll be right here… folding clothes…
IJS

Author: Spanky Brown

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