I’m Jus’ Sayin’

Technology and me…

Posted by on 9:41 am in I'm Jus' Sayin' | 0 comments

First it was MySpace. Then Facebook then YouTube then Twitter then Vine, Instagram now Periscope… Geez I can’t keep up.  Can you Facebook from a Jitterbug phone? I’m 53 years old!!!  Every time I think I master something something else pops up. It’s crazy. These kids are so smart they’re stupid but I managed to make it 53 years with no broken bones and relatively good health by not setting my crotch on fire to get my social media numbers up.  So now I’m debating what stupid thing can a 53 year old get away with to become more popular… that don’t hurt.  At my age waking up should get at least 1,000 likes on my Twitter but to do that I’d have to Tweet that… and my arthritis prevents me from doing that. Tweeting that is… Dane Cook you suck…...

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Decency… Nice to see you again…

Posted by on 6:52 pm in I'm Jus' Sayin' | 0 comments

So I’m out of comedy as far as touring goes for a while and I gotta say… This feels unexpectedly, ok. I mean I LOVE PERFORMING… Period. Every entertainer does, it’s what we work for. We leave our girlfriend or wife… Or both for those that get down that way… Families, homes, friends and neighbors just to perform. We drive hours on end or fly sometimes, stay at fleabag motels most nights, just to get up there and do the jokes. The comedy club is normally a madhouse. As a comic you’re always happy to see familiar faces and drink and some folks do drugs and have sex in the green room and you say really inappropriate things to your “co-workers”, stuff you could NEVUH get away with at a “normal” gig because, well… at a normal gig…. People try to act right. That… Was my normal. A place where overindulgence and political incorrectness were the most awesome part of it. Reveled in the fact we could say and do whatever we wanted for the most part and if you didn’t like it… Take yo ass home. Ridiculousness every single night and sometimes afterwards… Geez. And now… I work with people who respect each other, try to do the right thing are courteous… a big difference. There are good people at both places, yes. Crazy thing is when I started my new job I was like “damn… These folks are boring as hell”. After a week I’m like “you know… Boring ain’t that bad, ain’t that bad at all…” Life is life… People live it differently everywhere you go… Can’t lie tho… I do miss it… Today anyway… Jus...

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My point… EGG-ZACTLY…

Posted by on 10:47 pm in I'm Jus' Sayin', Uncategorized | 0 comments

I didn’t watch the Grammy Awards last night. I don’t think I watched them last year or the year bef… Ok I can’t remember the last time I watched and last night was the prime reason why I had to make some changes… It amazes me why people like the people they like, and sometimes love. Oh, the job is going great, I thank a lotta y’all for asking. I don’t know what “formula” the “academy” or whatever or whoever uses but the entire show is simply not about that. I watched in the past to crack jokes and make fun of famous people especially the ones who take themselves wayyyyyy too serious. I can’t do it anymore I think because I waste enough time, and I’m good at that… trust me. I’m guilty of giving some celebrities too much shine as well by taking out my time to ridicule the ones who make my ass itch. Academy here’s why people watch… THEY WANT A TRAIN WRECK!!! The winners are never right and people are fans for all the wrong reasons. It ain’t about talent… It’s a popularity contest!!! I’m not the biggest Beyoncé fan. I think a lotta ladies are better singers but she sells a lotta damn albums…. No matter if she’s damn near naked on her videos but she sells a ton. Period. Which to me should be the only and deciding factor… Then it makes sense to the people. Do I think Beck is more talented than Beyoncé? Personally I do… but Who cares?! Is he the most talented guy ever? No, but ask yourself… Do you really care? No… You probably don’t. I know I don’t. So apparently Kanye West charging the stage during someone else’s moment is acceptable behavior? Among them I guess so… They all laughed as though it was hilarious but later he proceeds to say what he apparently wanted to say all along, and that’s cool now? Even among “artists”? I use the word artist loosely because the make up of a true artist doesn’t lie with just talent. There a respect for all artists, whether you like their expressions or not. Just because a comedian does t make me laugh doesn’t make them unfunny and it sure don’t give me the right to upstage them for my own benefit. …but this guy is famous, talented but clearly abusing his good fortune in my opinion. People will still buy his albums by the millions tho… Which means some folk condone this behavior just because of… What? I’ll be glad when people appreciate talent again, not just noise or “look at me” folks, like Beyoncé for upstaging Ledisi WHO is soooooo much a better singer, but Beyoncé had an agenda… If I wanna see a peacock I’ll go to a zoo… Or a jackass for that matter…...

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I had a dream…

Posted by on 2:46 pm in I'm Jus' Sayin' | 0 comments

That my radio station was sooooo crazy popular that we had our own tour. That we could give some light to do many deserving comedians and we could do some other good things. Spreading laughs is my purpose. Period. No matter where I do it… Maybe one day I’ll return to the stage but in the meantime I’m gonna continue to be happy. The reason for that paragraph is this. In this day of scams and get rich quicks and the like from everything in entertainment to the government people want transparency. I received an anonymous email. I never get those but they asked why $12,800 to operate an online radio station. That I didn’t need that much to do it and if it’s money I need just tell the truth. I thought at first “screw you”. If you think I can live off $12k for a year or I have some kinda scheme. I don’t. So I wrote this really heated, scathing reply… Complete with profanity and all and before I hit the send button, I waited. Then I said to myself “self..people need to know these things if you’re gonna ask them for their money “. Never thought that would happen to me. I ain’t the funniest but I thought I was one of the people who keeps his life above board…. Some need to know the whole truth I guess. I actually created my GoFundMe.com/spankybrown account and sat on it for almost a week for this very reason. I ain’t out to cheat no one and although “anonymous ” wasn’t transparent enough to share their name they raised a valid point . So… “Anonymous” and anyone else who may be interested in giving or simply just knowing what’s the deal… here’s the breakdown: Apptova (my app company). $200 ASCAP/BMI (artists royalties). $68 Museter (server). $33 Rumble Talk (chat room). $20 Facebook ads. $350 Twitter ads. $350 Libsyn (archive storage). $50 Monthly Total: $1,071 X12 months: $12,852 So there it is… I hope this sheds light. For anyone I’m happy to do this. I hate I didn’t do it from the start. So Thx “anonymous”… We got $12,458 left I think. So I ask again for your help… Give a listen to the show, guaranteed laughs, even if you don’t like sports… Thank...

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No Regrets…

Posted by on 11:38 am in I'm Jus' Sayin' | 2 comments

I think I wrote one of these not that long ago. First thing I’m not retiring…  just reloading… This may get lengthy… but it’ll be honest. I say thank you first to comedy and what it’s allowed me to do for the past 16 years. No way when I first stepped on the stage at The Comedy House Theater in Savannah, Ga late November in 1998 did I see myself here, at this point, at this time. I’ve lived a dream during this period. to do something you love and get paid for it is truly a blessing beyond words. To meet YOU, make you laugh and forget your life for a few minutes and listen to what’s right and wrong with mine brings me as much joy as it has for some of you. I’ve gotten to travel the world, see some cool things, even been on national television and radio… and got to hang out with a lot of YOU which is the thing I think I’m gonna miss the most and I actually got paid to do it. I have no regrets. This has been up to this point one helluva ride. Comedy is simply saying the same thing every night but make it look like you just thought of it.  That’s right… night after night. I laugh on stage which for a long time was considered a cardinal sin in comedy but I never laugh at the jokes, I hear em every night… it’s your reaction to the jokes which keeps it fresh for me night after night. it’s priceless and I owe YOU for that. Lotta people can’t do it. Some better than others. There is no gray area in comedy to me, either you’re funny or you’re not. I’m fine with the fact… you can’t make everybody laugh. No matter how hard you try. There are lots of moves to make in entertainment. Some I made some I didn’t… nobody determines success except YOU… or in this case me. Talking to a good friend today who took the time to call me who now does comedy when he wants to so really no one who has done this for a long time is never a “former comedian”… after so many years you’re in, blood, sweat & tears in… and out. We decided that we and others like us, those who came in right after the “Comedy Boom” of the 80’s & 90’s  and before the”Social Media Comedy Boom” of the new millennium. He said and I agree that we were the”kindling” that clubs could work while the new age of comedian would be determined. We built clubs… I feel totally validated in saying this. There was a time I never had to call a booker, they called me. I felt privileged to be in that company… I feel now like a dinosaur. I saw an article the other day that said “the millennials are killing the art of stand up comedy”. I gotta agree to that. It’s all about YouTube & Vine… not even thought provoking comedy… just 8-15 second stunts and stupidity, nothing of substance and I admit I’ve laughed at some of it… but the role of a monologist is going away… makes me sad. These days it’s really not about...

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Them… Ugh…

Posted by on 10:14 am in I'm Jus' Sayin' | 2 comments

Ok here goes… There’s a lot of use of the words “They” & “Them” nowadays. “They” seem to be the newest it person. Doing this and that to everyone. Causing discord and dissension… Confusion and turmoil. “They” doin too much.. Who? “Them… You see em?!” You heard what “they” said?! I guess I’m guilty of blaming “em” too. I think we, or I, been given “them” too much credit and way too much responsibility for what happens in our, rather my life or our lives… Me especially cause honestly I’m in a rut. At this moment I’m in one of the worst ruts I can remember and it’s MY FAULT and although I know I can be unusually hard on myself the truth is I’m the only one who can fix it. So my resolution is to let “them” go. No matter who it is, where I see it, where I hear it, why I let it happen… If everyone took charge of their own happiness, including me. It’d be a better place. Yeah, that’s cliche but I really gotta ask myself have I honestly tried that? I’m not now I know that much. “I hate waiting on folk”. How many times have I said that?! “These people are so unprofessional “… Then why am I dealing with it? I guess I’m saying is shrinking my circle, to only surround myself with the people who matter that I matter to is the fix. How much dead weight do I carry around with me AND how much dead weight have I been to other people? I’ve made New Years resolutions before but I gotta switch it up. I’m going for a right now resolution. I’m honest if I ain’t nothin else… I can be the king of gumption (somebody else told me that once) “she” was right. See there… “They”… Lotta unrest all over the world… I gotta be above it… It starts as soon as I post this… I, have got to be positive, gotta believe there are more good folks than bad in the world and not just say that, but be one of em. Give more, sacrifice more, to and for others… I’ve been really selfish, I have helped some people yes… But not as many as I could have… or can. Happy Holidays… Happy You… Happy Me… Better yet… Happy Me leads to a Happy You Jus sayin…...

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Why is Artie Lange Trending?

Posted by on 10:54 am in I'm Jus' Sayin' | 0 comments

Sigh…Why is Artie Lange still trending? Geez I’m all about some 1st Ammendment, I make my living at excercising it as all comics AND FANS of comedy do, cause it not only defens YOUR right to SAY it, it defends ANYONE’S right to sit and LISTEN to it. What he said about Cari Champion of ESPN simply was not funny for a muriad of reasons but my number one reason  is simply it just wasn’t funny. Frankly she didn’t deserve it. I got the thickest skin of anybody and I’ll defend any comic to say whatever he wants, but if he/she aint funny, they aint funny… evidently somebody likes him, he’s famous, hadnt been funny in years to some, never been funny to me. I say this not as a critic but as a fan of the art, the craft.. I dont make everybody laugh, and that’s ok, but any comic in the game will tell you, that dont happen often. I said it….maybe because pointless, mindless, irresponsible comedy is out there and frankly I’m tired of it. There are sooooooo many unfunny “comics” out there it’s ridiculous and a  lot of em are defending this guy. They got wives, girlfriends, daughters, mothers, sisters and THIS is ok huh? Call it what you want cringe, grunge comedy or whatever you wanna call it but these “new” comics think anything and everything is ok in comedy… IT AINT… You know what’s not ok in comedy? NOT BEING FUNNY… Instead of defending this clown comedians for whatever your reason is how bout you write some damn jokes, how bout tell some damn truth. Your JOB is to make your audience laugh. This whole “there’s no such thing as bad press” is shameful… talent is getting overlooked for popularity. Fame and fortune are great I’m sure.. just aint willing to sell out for it. Somebody recently said to me “you should be on television” which is nice but the process is the problem. Hollywood doesnt look for funny, they cast. If they needed an older funny fat black guy maybe I get on television mabe not, depends on how many older funny fat black guys show up for the audition. Plus some comics like myself dont write jokes for television… I write for audiences. no matter what happens I’ll take my chances with being funny… and keep blowing the doors off of clubs… cause that’s what real comics do… so this is my salute to the folk that walk in and make 12 people laugh so hard they’re in pain when they leave… why? Cause you gotta love it do do it right… So why is Artie lange still trending? Cause if he couldnt sell tickets before he can now, and folks, rather sheep will come to see him not becuase he’s funny, but because he’s a trian wreck. Some comedians may see this and say I’m bitter, I’m not… I friggin LOVE what I do… whether 12 or 1,200 trust me I’ll do my best… does that make me funnier? Nope… just better than that jackass and any other comedian who will do anything to be relevant except what needs to be done, and that’s be funny. You’re cheating the fans, quit. That’s all … and oh yeah  A-Rod is a...

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Here… Is why I cannot quit the Cowboys…

Posted by on 3:44 pm in I'm Jus' Sayin' | 0 comments

Every football season for the last ehhhhhh… lets say  5-7 years  I’ve been threatening to denounce my “fandom” for The Dallas Cowboys. Every damn season of recent memory my friends and family dog me ou about being a punk, and I aint loyal and I need to kiil myself and all my Cowboy hatin friends call me stupid for being a fan in the first place and how bad they suck and how Owner Jerry Jones needs to drink some bleach…. sigh….they’re all right. But it hit me a couple of days ago as to why I cant quit em… 1. I can’t… thats number one 2. Hell my whole family is from the Dallas/ Ft Worth area. Still there… my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, two of my siblings were born there and 3 of em lived there at some point… my entire family ON BOTH SIDES!!! I cant escape it. Even on my Xbox I try to play with another team I feel dirty. I always feel like…. somebody’s wa… anyway you get it. I have not only a genealogical tie as well as g geographical one. Plus I know my dad is turning over in his grave right now fomr the mere fact that I keep waffling… they’re my team… cause they’re my mom and dads team. 3. The Dallas Cowboys have hypnotized me some kinda subliminal way. My last truck was blue, my new truck os silver… yeah, I know… 4. I’m big and Texas is too… Dallas is the biggest city in the state and I like big things… I do… ladies I really do but anyway what I’m saying is, is that the team state, the city and the whole big thing resonate with me… what can I say? I LOVE TEXAS!!! My Momma was from Texas, My Grandmomma was from Texas, My Great Grandmomma was from… I dunno but when I met her she was in Texas sonit dont matter where she was from… it where she was at… 5. Did I mention that I can’t? … and people DONT switch teams. They don’t. I’ve been a Cowboy fan as long as I can remember. I’ve told foks from stage I’ve been married twice, lost houses, stuff, custody of my kids and the ONLY thing that lasted through all of that… is a Dallas Cowboy trash can my MOMMIE bought me for Christmas from Sears & Roebuck… ROEBUCK!!!! Where’d THAT dude go?! I was gonna take it on Antiques Roadshow but they said they only wanted playoff teams… I keyed that lady’s car when I left too but that’s beside the point… Cowboy-ism has been so ingrained in me that no matter what, even when I was teamless I always thought about em, checked on their scores, took up for em in the media and all that and even though Jerry Jones is a MORON… he loves them Dallas Cowboys… and deep in thet heart of Spanky… I love em too… Face it. Folks we love hurt us. happens all the time… I just happen to not be able to shake em.. so since I cant shake em.. join em… face it… least I aint a Cubs fan.. We got rings!!! Not lately but they could use my help… it’s tough being a Cowboy...

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Do Americans drink EVERY HOLIDAY?!

Posted by on 8:35 am in I'm Jus' Sayin' | 0 comments

It’s Labor Day… The day we take off to celebrate either not working or childbirth, who knows but one thing is for damn sure… WE GON DRINK!!! Americans can find a reason to drink like no other country. We are the world wide leader in celebrating. Wars… Drink… Religious holidays… Drink… Birthdays to Anniversaries… Divorces to Weddings we Drink! Hell we straight ganked Cinco de Mayo and St. Patricks day from Mexico and Ireland respectively so we could do what? DRINK. We told the Irish and Mexicans “Hey! Y’all ain’t doin this right… Give it here!” We showing the Irish how to drink huh? Seems America has selective memory when it comes to celebrating. Some of the bad stuff is supposed to be good right. Ain’t nobody throwing no Emancipation Proclamation party is there? I’ve never go invited to a Women’s Right to Vote cookout.. You? Didn’t think so. Remember when your birthday was just THAT DAY? Not no more… Week long festivities to celebrate one day for just one person. Now it’s the “Birthday Week” . I’m gonna name mine “Spanky-Palooza” next year… ALL DAMN WEEK!!! I think we need to start working on educating these kids better instead of partying… PARENTS! You can’t remember what happened last night but Billy can’t remember what the teacher talked about all day. I think we’re like 17th in the world in education but you know what? We’ll celebrate that and do what? DRINK! So Happy “at least we ain’t last in education day” everybody…...

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I hope my kids read this…

Posted by on 11:22 pm in I'm Jus' Sayin' | 0 comments

I keep looking at this brother’s picture. This picture. The anguish on his face looks like it all that hurt just poured out of his soul. I cried when I saw it. I couldn’t help it. I was being selfish tho. I look as his face and I was thinking of my own children. I could not be him… I know it. I’d want vengeance and chaos and death… I know it. My kids are everything to me and I know I ain’t built like this man, or Trayvon Martin’s father… Just ain’t. I can’t even fathom losing a child, burying one or having one of em have their life taken. When stuff like this happens we, black folk do the same shit every time. We march and we sing and some of us are opportunists who use a loss of life for the most simple of personal gain… A television, shoes, food… all in our own neighborhoods… It’s sad and infuriating. Black folk need to take inventory… Nothing good can come from a knee jerk reaction based off emotion. Easier said than done I know but at some point the protests and all have become predictable. Oh there will be money raised and memorials built and named for young Michael Brown… but his life, Trayvon’s life,  has to mean more… Has to mean enough to save. Black men make up 50% of the prison population… The young Black male has zero chance in an unbalanced system I love my children as I’m sure you do yours… Parents are not supposed to bury their children… Seems like it happens more often these days than not. This kids death is being used to push so many personal agendas it’s crazy… But watch… In a few weeks he’ll be an afterthought… Slid off into a distant memory… Until the next killing happens… Then what? I just hope my children know… How much… Love ain’t a big enough word. Seems like hurt isn’t either…...

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